Thanks Blanche. These mature perspectives need more voice. I have said for years that “just because I love women, that doesn’t make me want to be a man.”
That said, I have poetry dating back to my pre-teen years when I posed the gender question.
As a lesbian coming up in the 70s-80s, I have tried on many personas to find the ones that literally and figuratively suited each situation.
I have names for each. My butch look also serves as my everyday gardener/naturalist look. My crisp professional look is generally more tailored suit and I do not own anything resembling a blouse.
My earth mother spiritualist is flowy and hippie chick only worn in very small, safe circles where barefoot vegetarian men speak softly and wear dreads.
I also possess a small collection of femme wear reserved for unchartered territory like small town speaking engagements with church ladies or garden club groups, but the more I get to know them, the crisper my fashion becomes.
All of my choices are based on a two-fold decision making process. How will I feel wearing this and how will I be received? I have often pondered whether cis people go through these machinations or whether their daily choices come more naturally from a place of social gender norms.
I have also witnessed many in our subculture forego these decisions altogether in favor of what I call the “don’t look at me” look of jeans and t-shirts with a cover shirt to hide their bra-lessness.
As fashion has evolved to include us, choices become more expansive and I am pleased to mix it up a bit here and there or go totally out of character into full blown artsy or wild.
All that said, I too am very grateful to have grown up before the gender fluidity confusion that is today. Why I do not begrudge anyone their personal journey, my own experience has taught me that who I thought I was at 9, 19, 29, 39, 49 and now almost 59, are all very different iterations of myself. For me, having a chemical or medical choice before I was ready to make these decisions would have been far too painful to navigate.
Crying laughing as you describe the scene with cousin Millie. Great piece Blanche. There are so many reasons I am grateful to be born in 54 and experienced a more clear cut, simpler (not better or worse) coming of age. Or maybe that’s hindsight? Thank you Amiga. Happy to be in your virtual company this evening.
I love having you and Larry in my Vieques life! Just got back to Ct. glad you’re liking the pieces.
Thank you for saying what you have and haven't.
Wonderful piece, as always, Blanche. That story about the school play is priceless, but I'm sure it was embarrassing and painful at the time.
Thanks Blanche. These mature perspectives need more voice. I have said for years that “just because I love women, that doesn’t make me want to be a man.”
That said, I have poetry dating back to my pre-teen years when I posed the gender question.
As a lesbian coming up in the 70s-80s, I have tried on many personas to find the ones that literally and figuratively suited each situation.
I have names for each. My butch look also serves as my everyday gardener/naturalist look. My crisp professional look is generally more tailored suit and I do not own anything resembling a blouse.
My earth mother spiritualist is flowy and hippie chick only worn in very small, safe circles where barefoot vegetarian men speak softly and wear dreads.
I also possess a small collection of femme wear reserved for unchartered territory like small town speaking engagements with church ladies or garden club groups, but the more I get to know them, the crisper my fashion becomes.
All of my choices are based on a two-fold decision making process. How will I feel wearing this and how will I be received? I have often pondered whether cis people go through these machinations or whether their daily choices come more naturally from a place of social gender norms.
I have also witnessed many in our subculture forego these decisions altogether in favor of what I call the “don’t look at me” look of jeans and t-shirts with a cover shirt to hide their bra-lessness.
As fashion has evolved to include us, choices become more expansive and I am pleased to mix it up a bit here and there or go totally out of character into full blown artsy or wild.
All that said, I too am very grateful to have grown up before the gender fluidity confusion that is today. Why I do not begrudge anyone their personal journey, my own experience has taught me that who I thought I was at 9, 19, 29, 39, 49 and now almost 59, are all very different iterations of myself. For me, having a chemical or medical choice before I was ready to make these decisions would have been far too painful to navigate.
I love this piece. I so appreciate your absolute unapologetic honesty. The world could do with a lot more of that Blanche!
Crying laughing as you describe the scene with cousin Millie. Great piece Blanche. There are so many reasons I am grateful to be born in 54 and experienced a more clear cut, simpler (not better or worse) coming of age. Or maybe that’s hindsight? Thank you Amiga. Happy to be in your virtual company this evening.